Say something about gay babies.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
