How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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