the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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