I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
