Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
