Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize