I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
