I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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