hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
