i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
