Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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