Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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