I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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