You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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