she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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