I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
