The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
