she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Congratulations! We have a period
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize