I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I hate all girls vehemently.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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