Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize