So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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