You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Panties = found
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
