David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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