well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
