Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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