Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
