Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
