I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
