In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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