I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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