Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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