It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
