remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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