:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
