I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
