Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Are we still banned from the library?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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