are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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