You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
