The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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