What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize