the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize