so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
what day is it and did you see me today?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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