then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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