Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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