they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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