I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
