:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
