In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Randomize
