You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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