You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
