billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
