you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
