I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
