Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
