Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
