I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize