therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We need to get me chipped asap
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
