you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
