i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We're too hungover to prance.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
