We got so high we made milksteak
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
