We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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