Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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