god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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