32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
