Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
