I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
