Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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