Screwed.edu
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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