I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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