why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
