Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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