do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize