everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
BRING THE BAGELS
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
