Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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