just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
