you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
