Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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