glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
