There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
