whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
