I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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