"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
